Retro
by movienerd1174
Summary: Olivia wakes up in the hospital with no memory of how she got there, or the last two years. Only one person from her past can help her remember, even though there are some things she would rather forget. TUCKSON
1. Chapter 1

**Hello friends! I'm back with another (short) multi-chapter story! This idea has been floating around in my head for a couple of weeks, ever since the horrid Tuckson break up. For all my loyal readers who are so dedicated to Ships in the Night, don't you fear. I will be finishing that soon, I just need a palette cleanser.**

 **This follows the general canon of the show but it's set about a year and a half in the future. I don't want to give too much away but if you have questions by the end of the first chapter, don't hesitate to ask!**

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Her head pounded and her body ached. Her eyelids felt like they were weighed down with concrete as she to blinked then open, the harsh light irritating her sensitive corneas.

Looking around the unfamiliar hospital room, her eyes struggled to focus as a blurry figure rose from a nearby chair and approached her bedside. Olivia realized that it was Carisi as he neared even though one of her eyes struggled to focus. "Hiya, Lieu", Carisi greeted softly.

"Carisi, wha..." she stammered as she struggled to sit up, quickly realizing it was a mistake. Her head spun and her entire left side of her torso ached at the slight movement, a sure sign of bruised ribs.

His gentle hands reached out as he helped guide her back down into a comfortable position. "Easy, Liv." He chuckled. "You can't just be leaping outta bed after an accident like that."

The shock and fear that crossed her features was not lost on Sonny. "Noah...", she croaked.

"He's fine", he soothed. "Amanda's actually on her way down here with him now."

Her eyes were still fierce as her brain was struggling to fit the pieces together. "His medicine... he was starting to get a cough...", she hesitated, stumbling over her words.

"We gave it to him first thing this morning." Carisi informed, laying a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "We got everything covered, Liv. You don't have to worry." Sighing, she carefully rested her head back on the hospital bed. "That was a nasty fall you took coming out of the shower and then hitting your head on the sink like that on the way down." He explained, slamming his hands together for effect is true Carisi fashion.

Bringing her hands up to her face, she winced as her fingers gently grazed her swollen cheekbone. "I guess that explains the headache."

"Good thing Noah found you and called 911 when he did. You were losing a decent amount of blood." He revealed.

Tears started to fill her eyes at the new piece of information."Oh my god, he was probably so scared."

"You got a brave boy there, Lieu." He confirmed, his accent ever-present. "He was more worried about you than anything else."

She couldn't help the feeling of pride swell in her chest at the thought of her sweet little boy coming to her rescue. Then she remembered, _Ed_. "Did you call...?"

Her words were interrupted by a soft knock at the door. Carisi watched as the door opened before glancing back at her. "He was stuck at work all night with an emergency but we called him. Don't worry, Liv, your man will be here soon." He smirked as he reached the door.

Amanda walked in the hospital room, one of her hands holding Noah's while the other balanced Jessie on her hip, and Olivia couldn't hide the shock that registered on her face.

Sensing Noah's hesitation, Amanda bent down and spoke lowly to him as she helped him slip off his backpack. "Go give your mama a hug. It's okay, you won't hurt her if you're real gentle." That's all the invitation the young boy need and he took off towards the bed. As he left her side, Amanda's hand came to rest on her swollen stomach. Her swollen stomach that looked at least five months pregnant, the swollen stomach Olivia couldn't stop staring at.

Her focus immediately shifted as Carisi gently lifted her son onto bed, making sure to place him on her un-injured side. She couldn't help the tears that flooded her eyes as Noah carefully nuzzled into her neck. "You okay, Mama?" He mumbled against her skin.

"I'm so much better now that you're here." She said, trying to sound upbeat but the sound of emotion was evident. Gently grabbing him, she pulled him away so she could look at him. He looked older to her for some reason, like he had slimmed out and gotten taller. "You're my hero." She smiled, squeezing his arms before hugging him close again.

Reaching the bedside, Amanda laid a dainty hand on her lieutenant's shoulder. "Glad to see you're okay, Liv."

Giving her a teary, closed lipped smile, she placed her own hand over hers. "Thank you for taking such good care of Noah."

"Of course", she smiled as Jessie began to wiggle in her mother's arms. "And don't worry about anything for the next couple of days while you're getting back on your feet. We'd be happy to keep him for as long as you need." She offered, looking over shoulder back at Carisi who smiled brightly at her from his spot in the chair.

 _We?_ Was she missing something? It was then that she spotted a flash of gold from a very important finger on Rollins' left hand.

Before she had the time to think about all the inconsistencies, little Jessie was reaching out for her. "Livie", she whined, her chubby hands grasping for her.

"Easy, baby girl." Amanda warned as she stepped closer, allowing her daughter to smack a kiss on her unharmed cheek.

Olivia couldn't help but smile at the gesture. "Oh, my sweet Jessie girl." She cooed, her hand coming up to smooth against her blonde locks.

Despite the confusion swirling around in her head, she was very grateful she had the support system that she did. Her squad was her family. All that was missing was Ed.

With Jessie is her arms, Amanda headed over to where Sonny was sitting in the chair. She placed the toddler in his lap before leaning against him, his arm found its way around her swollen midsection as she scratched her fingers against the back of his head.

As much as she was trying to focus all her attention on Noah and what he was saying about his sleepover, Olivia couldn't help but peek in curiosity over at her two detectives that were clearly being more than friendly with each other.

And that was when she spotted it. A ring matching Amanda's on his left hand which rested on her protruding belly.

 _What is the world was going on?_

"Do you, Mama?", Noah asked, getting her attention. She looked at him and he repeated his question. "Do you wanna see the picture me and Sonny drew?" He asked excitedly.

Nodding enthusiastically in response, Olivia watched as Carisi rose from his chair, allowing Amanda to take his spot and made his way over to the bed to help Noah down safely. Noah ran over to where his backpack was and started rummaging through it when there was a harsh knock at the door.

When the door opened, Olivia's eyebrows knitted together in confusion as Chief William Dodds made his way into the room. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Noah's face drop as he hid behind Carisi's legs.

As he reached her bedside, her mind was scrambling to try to think of reasons why the Deputy Cheif would pay her a visit in a time like this. Before she had a chance to ask, Dodds ran his hands through her hair. "Nice to see you're okay, babe."

 _Babe?_

As her brain was trying to process what was going on, he bent down and pressed his lips against hers. Her eyes widened at the contact and she pressed her hands against his chest, roughly pushing him away. "What do you think you're doing?!" She asked, wiping her lips with the back of her hand.

He smoothed his hands down his suit as he looked around the room before looking back at her, confusion and humiliation flashing in his dark eyes. "Is it a crime for a man to kiss his girlfriend?" He asked.

His words made her head spin as she closed her eyes and tried to take steadying breaths. "Ed", she muttered as the steady beep of her monitor quickened with the increase of her heart rate.

Carisi moved passed Dodds in an attempt to calm his lieutenant. "You're okay, Lieu. Deep breaths, you got this."

Her eyes opened, fierce with determination. "Ed", she demanded. "Get me Ed." She looked around the room, uneasiness found on all their faces. Normally she was hold her composure but the confusion swirling around was causing her to panic. "Ed Tucker is my boyfriend and I need him here... now."

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 **I know, I know, it's super short but I wanted you to get a sense of what's happening before I dive in. Even though Ed wasn't in this first chapter this story most definitely is Tuckson and he will be in every chapter from here on out, Never fear.**

 **Anyways, let me know what you guys think! I want feedback pleeeeease**.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! I'm so glad you guys are intrigued by the first chapter! Just want to clear a few things up that y'all mentioned in your reviews.**

 **Amanda is pregnant, not Olivia. And this follows canon so Tuckson broke up the same way they did on the show.**

 **ENJOY!**

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Feeling his heart racing in his chest, Ed Tucker made his way swiftly through the halls of Mercy Hospital. As soon as Carisi informed him that Olivia was in the hopital, he hung up and headed out the door neglecting to ask for information. She was hurt and if he was being called after a year and a half, it couldn't be good.

Rounding the corner, he noticed that his feet started to move faster at the sight of Carisi pacing the hallway. When Ed reached him, Carisi noticed the panic emitting from his eyes. "She's fine", he prefaced, holding up his hands in a calming motion. Ed released a breath he didn't even know he was holding as he waited anxiously for him to continue. "She took a header coming out of the shower, sustaining a pretty bad head injury."

Ed's brought his to scrub his face as his eyes darted around, his brain trying to comprehend the weight of the situation. "Is she...", he cleared his throat, his voice gruff. "How's her brain?

"Good", Sonny nodded, trying his best to sound convincing. "She recognizes Noah, us. She's aware of who she is and all that..." He trailed off, adverting his eyes.

Sensing the change in the other man's demeanor, Ed's heart dropped. "What is it?" He asked, his voice practically a breath.

Shifting nervously from one foot to another, Carisi reluctantly met his eyes. "She just doesn't know _when_ she is...", he explained slowly. Ed's eyebrows knitted together at his words causing him to continue. "She thinks you guys are still together. I don't know when exactly but the doctor is one the way to assess her."

Nodding, Ed's eyes shifted to the door. "Is she awake?"

"Yeah, she's waiting for you." As he went to move passed Carisi, he felt a hand on his shoulder stopping him. "Um, the left side of her face is... pretty bad, just so you're aware." Ed nodded in response. "Thanks for coming, Capt'n."

Clasping a hand on the younger man's shoulder, he replied. "She needs me, I'm here." With those words, he pushed passed him and opened the door.

Entering the room, Ed felt everyone's eyes on him. He nodded at Amanda who was at the corner of the room, holding Jessie on her lap, who smiled at him in return. He could feel Dodds eyes practically shooting daggers at his back from where he was leaning against the wall.

And that when his eyes landed on her.

She was laying in the hospital bed with Noah snuggled into her side, looking as vulnerable as he had ever seen her. Dark bruising littered the left side of her face and the swelling made her eye to appear half closed. Despite her injuries, she still took his breath away. He could see the weight lifting from her shoulders when she saw him, like she was drowning and he was her life preserver. God, he had missed that look.

Anxiety rose against the back of his neck as he approached her bedside. How do you greet someone who you haven't seen for a year and a half but still thinks you're together?

His nerves were instantly eased when she reached her hand out and grabbed his, their fingers automatically intertwining. Ed couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corner of his lips as he looked down at their hands, a slight ache clutched his heart at the sight of an IV sprouting from the back of her hand.

"Ed", she whispered, a smile on her face as happy tears prickled the corner of her eyes.

At the sound of his mother's voice, Noah lifted his head from the crook of her neck and his eyes lit up. Carefully maneuvering his way to the edge of the bed, he leaped into Ed's arms. "Tucker! You're back!" He squeaked excitedly, causing Ed to let out a chuckle while wrapping his arms around his small body.

"No, my man! You got so big." He said kissing the side of the boys head. Hearing a quiet sniffling, he looked over and saw the beginnings of tears spilling from the corners of her eyes. With one arm still holding Noah, he reached out the other and ran his rough fingertips along the inside of he left forearm in a calming motion.

Pulling back, Noah braced his hands against Ed's strong shoulders. "You have to see my room! Mama painted but I helped." He explained before leaning closer and whispering loudly. "Mama's pancakes aren't as good as yours, she can't make them look like Mickey."

Ed's heart deflated at the child's words, a reminder of his life with the people he had hoped would be his family. Trying to not let them see the smile disappear from his eyes, he turned his attention back to Olivia. "How are you feeling, Olivia?"

She couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment, he hadn't used her full name since they started dating. It was so... _formal_. Her eyes dotted around to the other occupants in the room and he could tell that she didn't feel comfortable talking to him with everyone around.

"Hey bud, why don't you go with Sonny for a couple of minutes while I talk to mom?" Ed suggested, scratching the boy's belly lightly. Noah nodded in response and ran towards Carisi once his feet hit the floor as Ed addressed the adults in the room. "Can you guys give us a minute?"

Carisi and Rollins happily obliged, gathering Jessie and Noah and heading for the door while Dodds stared down Ed from where he stood. "Do you mind?" Ed spat as he stared back at him.

Breaking his silence, Dodds stepped forward. "Actually, I do."

Pressing his hand against the chief's chest, Carisi stopped him. "Liv wants to talk to him, let her talk." Shrugging away from his hand, Chief Dodds practically growled under his breath before turning and stalking out of the room followed by Sonny.

Standing by her bedside, Ed looked down as an awkward silence enveloped them. She saw his hands clench and relax at his side and sensing his uneasiness, Olivia slipped her hand into his again. His eyes fell shut at the feeling off her warm palm against his, a shaky breath leaving his parted lips.

"Tuck", she let out in a quivering sob. His eyes shot opened at her emotional tone, her familiar nickname for him softening his exterior. "I have no idea what's going on." She weeped, releasing his hand and bringing both of hers to cover her face.

Pushing his pride aside, he sat on the edge of the bed. He took her hands away from her face and held them in his lap. "Hey", he whispered gently, trying to get her attention. She opened her wet eyes and looked at him, a look of defeat marring her features. "Talk to me."

Her fingers fidgeted against his as she tried to gather her thoughts. "The last thing I remember we had just gotten back from Paris and then I wake up here, dating _Dodds_." She said his name like it tasted bitter on her tongue. "They tell me we're not together anymore. And the craziest thing is when they told me that the only person who I wanted to talk about it with was... you."

Bringing his hands up to the uninjured side of her face, he gently wiped the tears away with his thumb. "Shhh", he soothed as her body shook with silent sobs. "I'm here now, talk to me."

Taking in a deep breath, she clasped his hands with hers as she reigned in her emotions. "They said that I fell stepping out of the shower and banged my head on the vanity." She explained and Ed's brows knitted together in confusion. Olivia was very graceful and rarely ever clumsy. "Noah came in and found me and called 911. He must have been so scared." She squeaked, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as she dissolved into tears once again.

Still unsure of what was appropriate in their situation, he hesitantly reached out his hands and ran them along her bare arms. "You've got a brave boy there, Liv. He would do anything to help his mama." He consoled. She nodded, visibly calming down at his soothing words and the familiar feeling of his hands against her skin.

"And then he comes in and sees me like this." She sighed, motioning to her bruised face. "I must look like a monster."

Muscle memory took over and Ed brought his hand up to the side of her neck, his thumb brushing gently over her cheek. "With those eyes and that smile you can never look like a monster." Her heart clenched at his words and she leaned into his welcoming palm.

He couldn't bring himself to look away from her, her eyes closed and as she nuzzled against his hand. Despite the sterile smell, her familiar scent invade his nostrils and it made his heart race.

Opening her eyes, she looked at him with her eyes brimming with tears. "What happened to us?" She croaked, her words causing his heart to break all over again.

He cleared his throat, trying to rid it of the emotion he knew was there. How can he tell her that he was ready to settle down with her and she pushed him to the side? Especially when she was looking at him the way she was now. "We don't have to talk about that right now." He rasped.

Just as she was about to open her mouth to speak, there was a a light knock on the door and a petite Asian woman in scrubs and a lab coat entered. A small smile graced Olivia's face as she recognized the doctor as one that had helped her on many cases in the past.

"I'm happy to see you again, Lieutenant." The doctor smiled kindly as she reached the bedside. "However, I do wish it was under different circumstances."

"Hi, Dr. Pham", Olivia greeted with a forced smile. She noticed that her other guestS had begun to file back into the room.

Taking a pen light out from a pocket on her lab coat, Dr. Pham shined it in Olivia's slightly opened left eye. "So, I hear you're having some memory loss?" She asked, moving the light to her other eye to check her pupillary reaction.

Olivia nodded in response, extremely aware of Ed's hand resting on her blanketed thigh. "Do you know what year it is, Olivia?" The doctor asked and Olivia's eyes shifted around the room. Amanda and Sonny were in the corner with Jessie and Noah, their eyes laced with hope and worry. While Dodds was leaning against the door jam, his eyes radiating with anger at Ed's proximity.

"2016?" She replied, more of a question than a statement. The doctor face remained professional, not outwardly reacting to her answer but she could sense the air in the room shifting.

Placing her pen light back into the breast pocket of her white jacket, Dr. Pham reached for Olivia's chart. "And can you tell me who the president is?" She asked while scribbling notes down furiously.

"Obama." She answered, seeing Ed's face drop out of the corner of her eye.

"If only." Carisi snorted from his spot next his wife, earning a smack on the chest.

Turning her attention back to her patient, she asked. "What is the last thing you remember?"

Closing her eyes, Olivia tried to gather her thoughts. "Um, we had just gotten back from Paris. We were working on the case with the little boy who had the gun in the park."

Dr. Pham glanced at Ed a questioning look on her face. "That was about two years ago." Ed confirmed. Olivia's eyes widened as she let out a heavy breath. Two years. She had missed two years of her life, of her son's life.

Finishing her notes, the doctor closed her chart and placed it under her arm. "Well, Olivia, it looks like you're suffering from retrograde amnesia." She could see the panic flash in her patient's tear filled eyes and continued quickly to put her mind at ease. "I assure you that it is extremely common in a brain injury like yours and in most cases the patient does regain their full memory."

As if it had a mind of its own, Olivia's hand immediately clasped Ed's. While surprised at her action, he held her hand and covered it with his other in an attempt to soothe her. "What do we do moving forward?" She asked, her voice shaky.

"You're going to need some time to heal physically but besides that just continue with your usual day to day life. You won't be able to get back to work until we clear you but go home, spend time with your son, look around your house. As you heal your brain will start to remember." The doctor explained and even though her head was spinning, Olivia nodded. "You will get severe headaches from time to time and with your bruised ribs it won't be easy to get around, I suggest having someone stop in often to help you. Especially during the day."

Stepping forward, Dodds cleared his throat. "I got it, Doc."

Sensing Olivia's uneasiness, Carisi stepped forward. "With all do respect, Chief, Lieu doesn't remember the last two years. To her, you're just a work acquaintance. Why don't we let her chose?" He suggested, seeing his boss' warm eyes thanking him.

"Detective Carisi is right." Dr. Pham agreed before turning to her patient. "Stress is not good for your recovery. It should be someone who you are familiar with, someone you're used to having around."

Looking around the room and the expectant eyes, Olivia's eventually landed on Ed's face as he looked down at their joined hands. "Tuck...", she muttered, causing his eyes to shoot up in surprise. "I mean... if you have time."

Stepping forward, Dodds garnered their attention. His hardened expression sending a chill down her spine. "I'm heading back to work, I'll... call you." He practically hissed before turning and leaving the room.

Olivia jumped slightly at the sound of the door slamming as she watching Ed turn his attention back to her. "For you, Liv, I have all the time in the world." He stated. He knew this was not helpful for his mending heart but how could he deny her?

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 **Thank you for continuing to read! Let me know what you think, it means a lot to hear from you guys.**

 **For all of you that follow my other stories, the update for Ships in the Night is coming up next! Thanks for your patience!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys, I back with with a new chapter! Sorry it has been a while, I'm crazy busy with work.**

 **For any of you who are interested in following my on twitter, I made an account solely for everything related to SVU! My handle in the same as my username on here. I will post updates on my progress while writing as well as banners I have made for my stories.**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

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Unlocking the door, Olivia made her way into the apartment slowly. Her movements were small and calculated, careful to keep the pain at bay. Ed stood behind her and watched her unhurried motion, adjusting the strap of her small luggage on his shoulder.

Once she was well into the apartment, Ed entered and locked the door behind him. She braced herself against the couch and looked back at where he stood in the entryway. He looked around the apartment like he had seen an old flame, happy yet hesitant to engage.

Olivia's face dropped as she watched him. The Ed Tucker she knew moved around her apartment like he lived there and he practically did. "Make yourself at home. As far as I'm concerned, this is still as much your place as it is mine." She said, motioning around the apartment. The movement causing a sharp pain to shoot through her, her hand coming up to hover over her left side while she sucked a deep breath through her clenched teeth.

"You okay?" He asked, placing her bag down and laying her prescriptions on the table

She closed her eyes and nodded. "Yeah", she breathed lowly. When she opened her eyes, Olivia looked around the living room. Gone were Noah's toddler toys, replaced by cars, action figures and dozens of legos. Picking up a toy police car off the side table, she held it in her hands. "It's so quiet without Noah."

When he reached her side, he cautiously put a hand on her shoulder. "It's late and you need to rest. Carisi and Rollins will bring him by in the morning." He explained, his thumb rubbing along the exposed skin at the side of her neck. She looked at him and gave him a closed lip smile, basking in the feeling of his rough finger against her skin. "C'mon, let's get you in bed."

It took them a couple of minutes to shuffle all the way towards the bedroom but when they did Olivia carefully sat down on the bed while Ed leaned against the doorway. He looked around the familiar room, memories flashing before his blue eyes.

"Ed", she whispered, breaking into his thoughts. "I have a favor to ask you. I know this must be awkward for you but I wouldn't be asking if I didn't really need..."

"Liv", he cut her off, a small smile gracing his thin lips. "You're rambling."

Letting out a heavy sigh, she blew a stray tendril of hair that had escaped her bun out of her face. "I haven't had a legitimate shower in about a week." She paused, her eyes meeting his. "Can you help me into the tub?"

His mouth went dry at the thought of her nude in front of him but he tried his hardest to to hide his surprise from her. "Of course." He cleared his throat. "Wait here."

Walking passed her, he entered the bathroom and began to fill the tub with warm water. As the sound of the running water filled the small room, he braced his hands against the vanity and inhaled a deep breath. He was finally starting to mend his broken heart and move on from the enitire situation... and then he got that phone call. Her warm brown eyes, her soft voice, the smell of her skin; everything about her was breaking down the wall he had built around his heart over the passed several months and we wasn't trying to stop it.

The sounds her soft groans from the other room broke him out of his thoughts. Straightening up, he looked at his reflection as he swiped a hand over his weary face before heading into the adjoining bedroom.

Seeing Olivia struggling to try to rise from the bed, he rushed to the side of the bed. Crouching down if front of her, he placed his hands on either side of her hips. "I know you think you can do this all on your own, but you need to let me help you." He said, looking up into her defeated eyes. "Okay?"

Sighing, she reluctantly nodded and his lips lifted into a smirk at her concession. "We're gonna try to do this as quickly and painlessly as possible, okay?" He offered, causing her to nod and take a steadying breath.

Taking her hands, he placed them on either one of his shoulders before gripping the side of her hips with his own. "Here we go. One, two, three..."

She tried to focus on his voice and the feeling on his sturdy hands and not the shooting pain that shot through the left side of her body as he lifted her from the bed. Her hissing breath came out through clenched teeth as they both straightened.

The pain began to subside and she opened her eyes, a small smile spreading across her lips as she saw his face so close to hers for the first time in a long time. He couldn't help the shy smile that lifted his thing lips as her eyes shot from his eyes to his mouth and back again. "Now the hard part is going to be getting you in that tub." He stated. Groaning, she released a childish whine which caused him to chuckle.

When they entered the bathroom, Ed busied himself with turning off the bath water and making sure she had the essentials while Olivia managed to slip out of her sweatpants, As he turned back to her, he saw her wince as she struggled to escape the oversized NYPD hoodie that reached the middle of her bare thighs.

He could feel his eyes being drawn to the tanned skin of her toned legs and he tried his best to keep them focused on her face. She gave up her attempt to remove the garment and looked up at him, her eyes filled with helplessness. "I'm here to help you, you need to let me." He requested softly.

Biting her plump bottom lip, she nodded as his hands gripped the hem of the sweatshirt. He knew that look, the look she always gave him before his lips met his mind was screaming at him to keep his distance, his body was finding it hard not to fall back into muscle memory. Lifting the heavy fabric, he felt the skin of his knuckles sear as they brushed against her warm skin.

After he helped her slip her arms carefully from the sleeves, he let the fabric whisper to the floor. He tried his hardest not to ogle her naked body but he could feel the heat radiating from her body and his eyes betrayed him, raking down her body. While her curves were still prominent, they have thinned out considerably. Stress made her lose weight, he had remembered that from seeing her throughout the William Lewis ordeal.

The dark bruising along the left side of her rib cage drew his eyes almost instantly. Inhaling deeply, his hands balled into tight fists as he felt the rage rise against the back of his neck. His eyes fell closed, finding it difficult to see her beautiful body marred.

Feeling her thin fingers circle his clenched fist, his eyes opened and met her soft ones. "It's not as bad as it looks." She whispered, trying to give him reassuring smile.

"You've never been a good liar, Olivia." He said, giving her a pointed look. "C'mon", he instructed, unclenching his fists and taking her hands in his as helped her climb into the tub. Once she was standing in the tub, they gripped each other's forearms as she lowered herself into the warm water, her breath hissing through her clenched teeth.

Handing her a loofah and her body wash, Ed disappeared through the door without a word. A confused look crossed her face as she lathered the loofah and began to was her upper body. He reappeared a minute later with one of her medication bottles and a glass of water. "Getting you out of that tub is going to a hell of a lot more painful than getting in." He explained, handing her two small pills and the glass of water. "Take these."

Dropping the loofah into the water, she did as he instructed and handed the glass back to him. He placed the glass on the vanity before sitting on the closed lid of the toilet, grabbing a nearby magazine and trying to distract himself.

The soft sounds of water swishing around filled the room as he tried his hardest to pay attention to the uninteresting articles in front of him. He lost that internal struggle. Peeking at her out of his periphery, he watched as she brought her knee to her chest carefully and running the soapy loofah over it before repeating the action with the other.

The water, now cloudy with soap, reached just over the swell of her cleavage as the wet tendrils of hair that escaped her messy bun danced along her shoulders. He was so mesmerized by the suds running down her smooth legs that he had not noticed that her eyes were on him.

When he finally noticed that he was caught, he looked like a deer caught in the headlights until he saw her smiling eyes. Giving her a shy smile in return, he turned his attention back to the magazine.

"Hey, Tuck", he heard her call a moment later, the familiar moniker making his heart ache. Closing the periodical, he turned his attention to her. "Can you help me with my hair? It hurts to raise my arms above my head."

"Of course." He stated, standing from the toilet. Grabbing Noah's step stool, he placed it at the tub behind Olivia's head and sat down on it. He carefully removed the hair tie from her soft brown tresses, letting them cascade down to her shoulders. She sank down just enough to wet her hair and the top of her head before resurfacing, resting the back of her neck against the rim of the claw foot tub.

Squeezing some 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner into his hands, Ed began to massage the soap into her hair. Her eyes fell closed at the feeling of his fingers working against her scalp, humming as the relaxation took over her body. When they were together she always enjoyed when he would play with her hair, falling asleep within minutes.

Grabbing a nearby cup, Ed filled it with bath water and rinsed her hair, his other hand at her hairline to protect her eyes from any soap. He kept repeating that for a couple of times until there was no more residual soap. "All done." He concluded, before rising and heading to get her a towel.

He felt her hand grab his wrist before he could leave and he turned back to face her. "Thank you." She breathed, tears shining in her eyes.

Crouching down, he leaned leaned against the tub with his arm hanging over the edge so the rim was tucked into his underarm. "It's really not a problem." He spoke softly. She hung her head as her tears got the better of her, her hand slowly coming up to her eyes. "What is it?" He rasped.

Wiping the tears from under her eyes, she took a deep breath. "I know this must be difficult for you, taking care someone you used to", she paused trying to find the right words. "... be involved with."

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be." He informed gently, resting his chin on the back of his hand.

Nodding at his words, she cleared her throat as she blinked away the impending tears. "This is really... confusing for me too." She squeaked. "The last thing I remember is making love on our balcony in Paris. That was my reality and suddenly this is, being in love with someone who can barely look at me." She sobbed.

He couldn't help but reach out his hand and press it against her warm, wet cheek. "That's not true." He murmured, his thumb swiping along her cheek.

"What happened to us?" She weeped, her teary eyes meeting his. "I love you more than I've ever loved anybody. How could we not have worked?"

His mind was screaming at him to reply, to tell her that he loved her too but he couldn't. "It's been a long day", he croaked. "That's a discussion for a different time."

Sniffling, she nodded her head in understanding before letting out a heavy sigh. "I keep replaying it over in mind head, that night on the balcony."

Before he could think against it, he ran his thumb along the plump skin of her bottom lip. "That was a good night." He smiled sadly.

"The best." She agreed, a small sob lodging in her throat.

They stared at each other for a long moment before he noticed her eyelids begin to droop, he wasn't sure if it was due to the exhaustion of the past week or the pain killers kicking in. "I'm going to get you some pj's and then we'll get you out of this tub." He said, adjusting so he was crouching down with his bottom resting on his heels. "Are they in the same place?"

Blinking her eyes, she gave him a sleepy smirk. "Your guess is as good as mine."

"You're right.", he chuckled before standing up. "I'll be right back.

Walking into the bedroom, Ed looked in the second drawer of her dresser and found the oversized t shirts she always wore to bed. Looking at the shirts, he spotted a familiar one buried beneath all the others. He pulled it out and ran his fingers along the softness of the worn fabric, recognizing the hole by the collar.

Hearing water slosh around in the tub, he grabbed a pair of underwear and returned to the bathroom. She turned to look at him as he leaned back against the vanity, the shirt still between his hands. "You kept this." He said softly, breaking the silence.

"I guess I did." She murmured, a closed lip smile gracing her lips. "It's always been my favorite."

Looking down at the shirt for the moment, he put it on the vanity before approaching her. He braced his hands on his hips as he tried to work out the logistics of getting her out. Bending down, he removed the drain to the tub before standing up and reaching behind his neck to pull his shirt off. Her eyes widened at the sudden gesture, the sight of his bare torso and the way his jeans hung low on his hips making her throat go dry.

Grabbing some towels, he laid then down on the ground around the tub. "I figured to easiest way is to just lift you up out of the tub, I just don't think I can do it without getting water everywhere hence..." He explained, motioning to his naked chest as the rest of the water drained.

Bending down, he slipped one arm under the back of her knees while the other one circled her back. "Hold onto me." he instructed, his warm breath whispering across her wet skin. Obliging him, she carefully wrapped her arm around his neck as she felt his arms begin to bear her weight. "I'm sorry, this might hurt." He exhaled a breath as he lifted her out of the tub, her face twisting into a grimace. "I know, I know." He soothed softly before placing her down to stand on the towel.

Straightening up, he looked down at her face and his heart lurched. She was looking up at him with tired eyes, her lower lip tucked between his teeth. Suddenly her footing faltered and her hands reached out to grip his forearms as his hands braced against the small of her back instinctively, pressing her body against his. His heart began to race at the feeling of her bare chest against his, the cool drops of water a searing contrast between their heated skin.

"I've got you." He breathed, the feeling of his fingers against her causing goosebumps to break out along her skin. Taking her hands from his forearms, he placed them around his bare torso. "Hold onto me", he repeated as he reached around to the vanity and grabbed a hair tie. Gathering her damp waves in his hands, he did his best to tie them up into a bun.

Despite the fatigue taking over her body, she was hyper aware of his body in front of hers. She felt the heat rise against the back of her neck as she watched the muscles of his shoulders ripple as he adjusted her hair, the reddened skin of his neck only inches away from her lips.

When he was finished, his arms came down to his sides brushing hers as his eyes moved to her face. "Not as good as yours, but it'll hold." He smirked.

"Thank you.", she whispered, pressing her lips together.

Reaching behind him, he grabbed the old shirt and slipped it over her head. The material flowed down until the hem rested against the middle of her thighs. He grabbed her underwear and kneeled down so she could step into them. As she braced her hands against his strong shoulders to steady herself, she was immediately thankful that a nurse offered to shave her legs for her the day prior.

The skin of his knuckles burned as he dragged the panties up her smooth legs, resisting the urge to linger along the way. He released the garment when the material reached just under the swell of her backside, not wanting to cross a line. Her hands immediately met his, taking over the task but not before lingering against the calloused skin of his palm.

Standing up, he ran a hand over his face trying his best to hide the blush that appeared there. She gathered the soft cotton of the shirt in her hands and brought it up to her nose, inhaling deeply. "It's still smells like you." She observed, a content looked washing over her.

He couldn't help the sadness that tugged at his heartstrings at seeing her in his shirt again, almost as if no time has passed. Clearing his throat, he motioned around the small bathroom. "Why don't you get in bed and I'll clean up in here." He suggested.

She nodded, dejection evident on her face as she slowly made her way into the adjoining bedroom. Once she left the room he let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his hand over his weary face before he began to tidy up bathroom.

Walking into the bedroom, Ed spotted Olivia sitting on the edge of the bed trying to slip under the covers. Noticing her struggle, he moved towards her and held open the covers until she settled back against the pillows.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he tucked the covers in around her snuggly. "I'll be back in the morning, okay? Call me if you need anything at all." He offered, gesturing to her cell phone on the bedside table.

"You are an incredibly handsome man, Edward Tucker." She slurred, running a long finger down the bridge of his nose. A sleepy smile curved her lips while her heavy eyelids fought to stay open.

"I think the pain meds are kicking in." He chuckled, smirking at her.

Shrugging, she looked around her bedroom before her eyes found his again. "This is odd." She blurted out.

"What's that?" He asked.

One of her hands reached out beside her, running her her fingers along the empty space on the bed next to her. "Falling asleep in this bed without you beside me."

He pressed his lips together, not knowing how to respond. Reaching out his hand, he ran his thumb along the soft skin of her forearm. "Get some rest." He whispered as her eyes finally succumbed to the impending sleep.

Her words mirrored his own thoughts. Being in this room, feeling her skin against his, the smell of her freshly washed hair. It was like he was in a dream of his previous life. All of these things invaded his senses, making it exceedingly difficult to keep his distance. He knew this was only the beginning she was worth it. She was worth everything.

* * *

 **I hope you guys liked it! Reviews make the updates come faster!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! I just want to thank you all for being so patient, I've had a stressful this last month at work. I hope this chapter is worth the wait.**

 **If you don't follow me on twitter I should fill you into what happened since the last update... I MET MARISKA! That's right I met Olivia Benson herself. She stopped to take a picture with me even though she was late for a meeting and she could tell I was nervous and rubbed my back while we posed for the photo. She's the sweetest human alive!**

 **Anyway... ONTO THE STORY!**

* * *

Sitting down on the edge of twin sized bed, Amanda tucked the comforter around Noah's small body tightly. "Are you excited to be back home with your mama tomorrow, bud?" She asked, placing a comforting hand on his blanket covered stomach.

"Yeah", he sighed before looking away, his blue eyes glazed over with worry.

Call it maternal instinct or her detective's curiosity but something was nagging her to push forward. "Noah, what's wrong?"

Sighing again through his nose, he turned his head back to face her. "I don't want Mommy to get hurt again."

"I don't think you have to worry about that, No", She said, giving him a closed lip smile. "Tucker is there to make sure she gets to bed and he'll be there in the morning when she wakes up."

His chin began to quiver as his tiny fingers picked nervously at the stuffed dog he was clutching. "What if the monster comes back?" He muttered shakily.

"What monster, sweetie?" She prodded softly, her eyebrows pulling together. It was then when he completely shut down. He pressed his trembling little lips together, a gesture he surely learned from his mother, and turned away from her while snuggling his stuffed animal closer to his chest.

With a nagging feeling in the back of her mind, Amanda braced her hand against her back and rising from the bed. Pausing before she reached the door, she glanced back at him and wondered what kind of things he had really seen.

* * *

Climbing into bed, Sonny cuddled up to his wife as she rubbed lotion over the exposed skin of her arms. One of his hands found its way to her swollen stomach while he nuzzled his nose into the sweet skin of her neck. "It only took three bedtime stories but Jessie is finally knocked out." He explained as he pressed his lips against the spot under her ear.

"Mhm", she nodded distractedly, her unfocused eyes staring ahead as she continued to moisturize her skin.

Pulling away from her, Sonny noticed the look on her face and it was a look he saw often, especially at work when she was trying to piece things together. "I think it's the whiskey that did it."

Nodding her head in response, she continued to stare ahead until his words registered in her mind. "Wait, what?" She asked, turning to face her husband. She couldn't the small smile that came to her face. His light blue eyes shone with concern as he leaned forward and pressed his soft lips against hers. When he pulled away she brushed away the hair that fell over his forehead, her fingers running through his normally slicked back hair.

"Mand, what is it?" He questioned lowly, his warm breath puffing against her face as he tucked a stray blonde hair behind her ear.

Taking a deep breath, Amanda pushed herself so she sitting straight up against the headboard as Sonny sank down to prop his elbow up on his pillow. "Do you really think Liv just fell out of the shower?" She challenged, her eyes boring into his.

His eyebrows knit together as he pondered her question. "That's what they said happened."

"Who?" She emphasized with her hands. "No one was there besides Noah. No one knows what happened, everyone just assumed. I've known Liv for over seven years and I've never even seen her stumble when she walks. Have you?"

"No", he realized. "Do you know if anyone asked Noah if he saw or heard anything?"

Her hands fell to over her swollen abdomen, partly out of habit and partly in attempt to ease her rising anxiety. "While I was tucking him in he was worried about Liv and said something about a monster coming back."

From working with her as well as being with her all these years, he knew that when she had an idea in her head there was no stopping her. He placed his hands over hers that were resting on her stomach, his thumb caressing her wedding band. "What were you thinking?"

* * *

 _Intertwining his fingers with hers, he brought her arms above her head before trailing his fingertips down the length of her smooth arms. Planting one hand next to her head, he pulled his face from the crook of her neck to look at her. Noah had fallen asleep hours ago and they found themselves on their thirteenth story balcony, safe from the eyes of the people below but not from the bright lights of the city. His lips pulled up at the corner at the way her face glowed in the light of the Eiffel Tower mere blocks away._

 _Bringing his hand to the side of her face, his rough thumb traced along her swollen bottom lips as her heavy lidded eyes gazed up at him. Her supple thighs squeezed his strong hips, urging him deeper inside her as she took his thumb in her mouth. His eyes fell closed as a groan escaped his throat at the feeling of her hot tongue circling his digit._

 _Lowering himself so his forearms were on either side of her head, he brushed his nose against hers before his mouth captured hers. Her fingers dug into the muscle of his shoulder blades as her back arched off the blanket, the cool concrete chilling her skin through the soft material. He pushed his hips harder against hers causing her to moan into his mouth._

 _Pulling his lips away from her, he pressed his forehead to hers as he found her eyes shining in the moonlight. "I'm going to love you forever, my beautiful girl." He rasped, his chest swelling with more emotion than he had ever experienced._

 _Her breath caught in her throat as his words. She knew he loved her, he showed her everyday but he was a man of few words. One of her arms wrapped around his neck while her other hand found his scruffy cheek. "You promise?" She whispered, her breath puffing against his face as her thumb ran along his lower lip._

 _A certain vulnerability was evident in her voice and it made his heart ache. "I'm yours, Liv, always. I promise." He assured softly, his fingers threading into the soft brown tresses of her hair. She held his face against hers as she nodded, blinking away the tears that pooled at the corner of her eyes._

 _"Je t'aime", she breathed, her lips moving against his as she spoke. His mouth slanted over hers as he continued to move above her, the sounds of their union dissipating in the night air._

A soft moan emitted from Olivia's throat as she settled back against the body pressed behind her. The sight of Ed's face filled her subconscious mind as she reached her hand behind her head in search of him. As her fingers threaded through thick hair, her eyes fluttered open at the foreign feeling of it against the skin of her palm. A small, plump hand made it's way under the hem of her night shirt and her blood ran cold.

The heat of panic rose against the back of her neck as the contrast between Ed and this mystery person began to register in her mind. Ed had short, cropped hair, not this thick mop. His hands were strong and nimble, not thick and stubby. The sound of steady breathing filled her ears and the stench of stale alcohol filled her nostrils as she reached into the top drawer of her end table in search of her service pistol. She found the drawer empty before remembering that 1PP took it until she was cleared for duty.

Grabbing her phone and bringing it close to her chest, she quickly turned her brightness down before searching for his name. Ed. Going into her favorites, her heart dropped when she didn't see him name there where it had always been. She finally found his name under her contacts and quickly typed out a message.

 _There's someone here, in my bed. Please come._

Clutching the cell phone to her chest, she let out a shaky breath and did the only thing she could do... wait.

Seconds felt like hours as she laid there, her senses heightening in the dark room. She couldn't help the bile that rose in her throat every time he exhaled, his sour breath puffing along the side of her neck. She screwed her eyes shut as she willed the minutes to move faster and that's when she heard it, the sound of a key turning in the lock.

Suddenly, her cell phone vibrated in her clenched hands causing her heart to jump out of her chest. Peeking at the phone, she saw Ed's name lighting up the screen.

 _If you_ _hear someone at your door, it's me._

A sense of relief washed over her as she heard him quietly entering her apartment. Her heart rate sped up at the sound of his heavy footsteps trekking through the apartment. She heard the soft click of the light switch and a sliver of light shone through the crack under the closed bedroom door before it creaked open. The soft light in the hallway illuminated Ed's figure in the doorway causing a relieved sigh to escaped her parted lips.

Bringing a finger up to his lips, he signaled her silence as he stealthily moved further into the bedroom. Dark wash jeans hung down his long legs to the work boots he wore and his dark green cargo jacket pushed open as his hand hovered over his gun holster, a habit from his years on the force.

As he reached the side of the bed he recognized the man laying behind her as a sense of relief and anger washed over him. Relief because he knew he could handle Chief Williams Dodds and anger because Olivia had uncertainty about their relationship had been made clear yet here he was.

Crouching down so his face was closer to hers, he gently reached out a soothing hand to run along her hairline. "It's Dodds." He mouthed and she nodded her head minutely, the uneasiness still ever present on her face. He clenched his jaw as his eye line followed where Dodd's hand disappeared under _his_ shirt that she was wearing.

Dodds' sour breath reeked of liquor and telling by the sounds of his snores Ed knew that it would take a lot to wake him. Grabbing the other man's wrist, Ed lifted it from its secure grasp on Olivia's body as he stood up and offered her his other hand. Despite the pain wracking her the left side of her body, she accepted his outstretched hand and lifted her body from the bed.

As soon as she was vertical, she clung to Ed as the sense of calm she had been craving since she texted him finally washed over her. Her arms slipped under his cargo jacket and circled his midsection as she buried her face in his neck. "It's okay", he whispered into her hair as his hand came up to cradle the back of her head.

Pulling away, he maneuvered her so she was safely standing behind him before approaching the bed and the sleeping man that occupied it. "Dodds", He said firmly and when the chief didn't move he nudged him roughly in the shoulder.

After several jabs, Dodds jolted awake with a loud snort as he blinked his eyes in an attempt to focus on the two silhouettes in front of him. Clumsily reaching behind him, the chief turned on the bedside lamp as his bleary eyes squinted at them. "What the hell is this?" He croaked, scrubbing his hand against his face.

"Get out of the bed, Dodds." Ed commanded, his voice stern as his hand subconsciously reached behind his to pressed against Olivia's hip protectively. When he didn't oblige, Ed spoke again. "That wasn't a question."

Dressed in only his boxers and undershirt, Dodds stumbled out of bed and reached for his dress pants. Ed couldn't help but feel sick at the thought of another man pressed against Olivia especially one so scantily dressed. "Tucker, are you always so involved in your ex's lives?" the chief spat as he gracelessly pulled on his button up shirt, his eyes were bloodshot and his words slurred in the slightest.

From her spot behind, she could see his jaw clench as she felt his hand tighten its grip on her hip. Her hand reached out and squeezed his bicep lightly in an attempt to sooth his rising anger. "I'm here because Olivia asked me to come. I'm welcome here, unlike you."

Throwing his hands up in frustration, William sighed loudly. "She's my girlfriend for Christ's sake."

Stepping closer to the other man, Ed closed his eyes and sighed in an attempt to keep his anger in check. "Right now, to her you're nothing more than a distant colleague and she just woke up to you practically groping her." Ed seethed before taking a moment to reign in his temper as well as thwarting the chief's exasperation as well. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Listen, I know you don't think you've done anything wrong but I think it would be best for you to leave." The animosity burning behind Dodds' eyes was hard to miss as he stormed away from Ed and grabbed his suit jacket off the nearby chair. "Dodds", he called, getting his attention. "The key?" He demanded, holding out his hand.

Scoffing and rolling his eyes, he dug into the pocket of his dress pants and flicked the singular key in his direction. Snatching it out of the air, Ed looked down at the key and his eyebrows knit together as he saw a cartoon dog dressed up as a police officer etched into the metal.

Walking over to Olivia, he stopped in front of her as his eyes raked over her face. She tried her best not to cower from him but his harsh breath against the battered side of her face was making it difficult.

Glancing back over his shoulder at Ed, the chief turned back to her before pressing his lips against her uninjured cheek causing her to visibly flinch. Looking between Ed and Olivia, he gave a slight shake of his head before heading out of the bedroom.

They stared at each other, silence hanging in the thick air of the bedroom before they heard the front door slam. Bending over slightly, she buried her face in her hands as she felt tears prickle at the corners of her eyes. She felt his strong, comforting hands running along her upper arms and lowered her hands to look at him. Tears danced along her lower lashes as her chest heaved with fast breaths. "I thought he was you at first, when I was half asleep." She gulped, placing her hands on the planes of his chest. "And then when I felt his hand I knew it wasn't. I know it's crazy but all I could think about was William Lewis."

Exhaling, he pressed his lips against her forehead. "It's not crazy." He whispered, his lips moving against her forehead as he moved his hands to the sides of her neck. "I'm here now and I'm not leaving, okay?" He asked, pulling away to looked at her. Swiping her hands at her cheeks, she nodded as her eyes met his. "C'mon, let's get you back in bed."

* * *

Fidgeting with her hair nervously, Olivia looked up at Ed from where she was seated on the couch as he offered her a cup of coffee. "Do I look okay?" She asked, one of her hands accepting the mug while the fingers of the other brushed along the bruised areas of her face.

She had spent over an hour applying make up to meticulously cover up the marred side of her face in anticipation of Noah's return. Grabbing her hand and pulling it away from her face, he held it in his as his thumb ran over her knuckles soothingly. "You look beautiful." He rasped as his lips lifted at the corners.

Feeling the blush creeping up her face, she smiled and adverted her eyes as they heard a knock at the apartment door. Walking over to the entryway, Ed opened the door while holding his cup of hot coffee in the other.

On the other side of the door was a flustered Amanda rummaging through Noah's backpack. "Thanks, Captain", she sighed. "I can't seem to find Noah's key."

"No problem", He responded, looking down into his coffee sheepishly. "You can call me Ed. Retirement doesn't come with titles."

Olivia's eyebrows knitted together at his comment but before she could think anymore about it Noah came rushing into the apartment towards her. "Mama!" He squealed as he approached the coach.

"Easy, bud." Ed chuckled, letting Amanda into the apartment before shutting the door behind her. Olivia let out a playful "humpf" as her outstretched hands took the brunt of Noah's momentum.

Bringing him carefully against her body, she wrapped her arms firmly around him as she kissed his dark head of hair. "I missed you, my sweet boy." She breathed, tears brimming along her lower eyelids.

"Missed you too." He mumbled against her chest. Despite the pain she knew she would experience, she lifted her son onto his lap and rocked him back and forth as she held him to her.

Walking into the living area, Amanda placed his backpack on top of his toy box before sitting down on the near by armchair. "You look good, Liv." She smiled, watching the interaction between her boss and her son.

Giving her a teary smile over Noah's head, she responded. "I should be saying the same to you, Mama." Rolling her eyes, Amanda waved her hands dismissively before they landed on her rounded stomach. "So you and Carisi, huh?" Blushing and widening her eyes playfully, the blonde couldn't help but smile at the thought of her husband.

After washing his coffee mug and placing it in the dish rack, Ed wiped his hands on a dish towel before approaching the couch. "I'm going to head home to shower." He said, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder before ruffling Noah's hair. "See ya later, bud."

Noah lifted a small hand to wave in response from his mother's lap. "You're retired?" Olivia asked as she looked up at him, part of her teasing him and the other part genuinely curious.

Although it was fleeting, Olivia didn't miss the hurt that flashed in his blue eyes. "That's a story for another day, Liv." He replied, giving her a forced smile. Looking at Rollins, he gave her a friendly nod. "I'll be back later, take good care of her for me."

"Will do, Cap- hrm, Ed." She corrected with a small smile. The two women exchanged a look before watching him leave.

When they heard the door latch shut, the blonde turned to her boss with a mischievous smile on her face. "Why don't you go hang up your backpack in your room?" Olivia suggested to Noah who eagerly obliged before she turned to Amanda. "Spill." She demanded in reply to her expression.

Raising her eyebrows, she shrugged as her hands rested on her belly. "He just looks good in your apartment, that's all."

Nodding in agreement, Olivia could feel the burn of tears behind her eyes. Bringing a finger up to swipe along her lash line, she looked away. "He belongs here." She croaked. Reaching over, Amanda placed her hand over Olivia's comfortingly. "Do you know what happened between us?" The brunette asked as she looked back at her, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

Clearing her throat against her own rising emotions, Amanda squeezed her hand. "I have a inkling but you're pretty tight lipped about those things, Liv." She explained and the other woman nodded in understanding. "But I did see the way that man looks at you and it's the same look he had two years ago. He loves you."

A small sob escaped Olivia's lips at the words and she brought her hand to cover her mouth. Taking a moment to compose herself, she removed her hand from her mouth and took a deep breath. "And I love him", She stated with a sure nod. "I want to be with him. Sometimes I wonder if we would be able to move passed whatever happened between us."

"You can", Amanda deemed confidently causing Olivia to look at her with surprise. "He still looks at you like his whole world is wrapped up in one person." Her teeth sank into her bottom lip as the words sank in. "I think you just have one little obstacle in the way." Rollins alluded, giving her a pointed look.

With a knowing nod, Olivia replied. "And by little obstacle do you mean a certain deputy chief?" Amanda answered with a slow nod. "I'm glad you brought him up actually. Do you know how long Dodds and I have been dating?" She asked, the last word leaving a bitter taste on her tongue.

Adjusting her position on the couch, Rollins took a second to think. "I think maybe two months at the most, not very long." She saw Olivia's face drop at her answer. "Why, whats wrong?"

Glancing over at Noah where he was playing across the living room, the brunette looked back at the other woman and spoke lowly. "Last night I woke up and he was in my bed, drunk." Worry flashed in Amanda's blue eyes at the thought. "He said that he had a key but when I was with Tucker it took me more than six months to give him a key. The same with Brian."

"What are you thinking, Liv?" the blonde asked, studying the perturbed expression on her boss' face.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her battered midsection, seeking comfort against the uneasiness that began rise inside of her. "I don'y know but something isn't adding up..."

* * *

 **For the sake of the story, I'm making Dodds way more evil than he is in the show. I want to reiterate that I don't hate Dodds I actually like him but he is going to be OOC in this story.**

 **Thank you so much for sticking with me and reading this story. Feedback on my writing is literally my favorite thing. Reviews are loved and welcome.**


	5. Chapter 5

**HERES TO S19 OF SVU! So so glad we get to spend at least another year with Badass Benson and the rest of the squad.**

 **Anywhoo... let's get back to the story**

* * *

The hum of the oscillating fan filled the living room as the credits of the movie on the television began to roll. Looking over at Ed where was sitting on the opposite end of the couch, Olivia felt her heart skip a beat at the sight of Noah asleep on his chest with his small arms around his neck. The air in the room was thick and sticky with the temperatures outside reaching the lower nineties.

Earlier in the day, the air conditioning had attempted to kick on resulting in a dreadful whir and a dying sputter leaving the three of them to survive in the sweltering heat.

Catching her glance out of the corner of his eyes, one side of his mouth twitched into a sweet smirk. "Thanks for coming over, Tuck." She spoke lowly, careful not to wake a sleeping Noah. "You could've stayed in the coolness of your apartment but I'm glad you didn't."

His smirk lifted into a full smile. "Me too. You really can't beat the company." He said, looking down to the sleeping boy on his chest. As his gaze shifted away from her, Olivia's eyes traveled down his body. He was dressed in navy athletic shorts and a fitted white t shirt and her heart swelled at seeing him so casual in her apartment again.

"You can go lay him down if you want. I know he can be a little furnace." She offered, nodding to Noah as she readjusted her position against the arm of the couch.

He couldn't help his eyes from wandering to the expanse of her bare legs as she stretched them out in front of her so her toes brushed along the material that covered his thigh. Her tanned legs seemed to go for miles and the shorts she was wearing did nothing to cover them. His eyes travelled to her torso and his mouth went dry at the sight of the material of her tank top stretching across her chest. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun showing over her long, enticing neck.

When his gaze met her face, he met her teasing smile and shining eyes. "Hi", the word escaped her lips like a playful song.

A blush flooded his pale Irish skin at being caught gawking and he gave her a small smile before turning his attention back to Noah. "I don't mind snuggling for a little bit. I've missed this." He explained as he readjusted the boy against him. His small body was practically wrapped around him, pajama shorts laying loosely on his tiny legs while the matching shirt had long been discarded due to the stifling weather.

"He...", She began but suddenly stopped to correct herself. "We have missed it too." Nostalgia quickly washed over them both, her warm brown eyes meeting his shining blue ones as he reached out a hand to pat her bare ankle. The feeling of her smooth skin against his coarse palm set his nerve endings on fire. He always loved everything about her body but her legs especially brought him to his knees. When he would watch her moisturize them after her nightly shower, the contrast between her olive skin and the white sheets when they were tangled in the bedding, how they would tighten around his way as he thrust into her...

Her breath hitched as her eyes fell to his hand as his thumb worked mindlessly along the dip between her ankle and her heel. Realizing the effect he was eliciting out of both of them, he removed his hand from her skin and busied himself with rubbing Noah's bare back.

The silence between them hung in the air as Olivia watched Ed with her son and suddenly the words dancing on her tongue began too hard to ignore. "I remember what I said." Looking over at her, his eyebrows knitted together as he tried to process what she was saying. "That day after you, Noah and I took that walk in the park... I remember what I said to you that night."

When the realization washed over him his face dropped and he brought his hand up to rub against his face. He didn't know what to say, that day had been one of the happiest he could remember and now it was as if none of it happened.

"Ed", Olivia called softly, her voice bringing him out of his thoughts. His eyes flickered to her with his arms still tight around the young boy. Carefully scooting closer so her legs were folded between them, Olivia laid her hand on her son's back. "I remember what I said", she repeated as her hand fell to his arm. "And I meant it."

His eyes feel closed as he released a breath through his nose. "Liv", he warned, rising emotional evident in his tone.

* * *

 _Leaning against the door frame, Olivia watched as Ed bid Noah a goodnight. She had tucked him in, read him a story but his night wasn't complete without a hug from his best bud, Tucker. She saw his small arms that were clinging to his neck finally release as he settled back in bed and with a kiss on the forehead, Ed turned off the bed side lamp and made his way to the door._

 _Stepping out of the way, Olivia leaned against the wall in the hallway as he softly shut the bedroom door. "Is it weird that watching you with Noah is a complete turn on?" She asked, a smirk playing on her full lips._

 _Moving to stand in front of her, his hands found their way around her waist as a smile stretched across his thin lips. "I think I could get passed it", he teased, nudging his nose against hers. Her mouth opened as she laughed, his eyes drawn to the way her tongue to bobbed behind her lips._

 _One of his hands slid along the curve of her back while the other moved to cup the side of her neck, while her quickening breath puffed against his face. His lips brushed against hers and her breath caught just like it did the first time he kissed her, just like it has done every time since. Her fingers clutched the material at the waistband of his dress pants. "I want..." She panted against his lips._

 _"Tell me", he rasped._

 _His fingers tangled in her dark hair while his other hand slipped into her back pocket. "I want", she breathed, his lips hovering over hers. "To have your baby."_

 _It took him several beats to process was words that slipped from her lips. "What?" He exhaled, his amusement evident in his voice._

 _Olivia's eyes shot open at the realization that she had muttered the words out loud. Her hands slid up his torso to the open collar of his button down shirt as she gathered her thoughts. "Okay, let me rephrase that."_

 _Ed pulled back to look at her and she couldn't miss the smirk on his face and the delight dancing in his bright eyes. "Go ahead." He licked his lips, trying his hardest to fight the smile pulling at his lips._

 _"I know, considering our age, it's probably impossible for me to have your baby." She explained, gesturing his hands animatedly between them. Despite his hands tightening around her waist and his face inching closer, she continued. "But I want to have a baby with you. Seeing the way you are with Noah..." She trailed off as his forehead pressed against her temple._

 _"Liv", he breathed, nudging his nose into her cheek and before she knew it his lips engulfed hers. His hand tangled in her hair as he stole her breath from her lungs. She brought her hands up to grip his biceps as she felt her knees weaken._

 _Moving his hand to the side of her neck, their lips parted with a smack as he pressed his face against hers. "If you meant what you said, you just made me the happiest man alive." He rasped, his thumb stroking her flushed cheek._

 _"I mean it, Tuck." She assured, her fingers gripping the material of his shirt and his breath left his lungs at her statement._

 _A smile spread across his normally stoic face as his hands reached her lower back. "I don't think we're as old as you think, doll." Ed whispered, his warm breath engulfing her. "I think we should try this whole baby thing the old fashioned way."_

 _A small yelp escaped her lips as she felt his hands grip the back of her thighs and hoist her up against him. Her legs wrapped around his waist and her laughed echoed down the hallway as he buried his face in her neck while carrying her towards the bedroom._

* * *

A silence has washed over them, Olivia's eyes trained on his face while he stared straight ahead. "I don't think anyone really knows how difficult this is for me. The last thing I remember we were heading towards this new life together and I wake up and it's all gone."

"Have you thought how hard this is for me?" He snapped, his harsh voice causing her to pull away as if she had been burned.

Tension hung heavy in the air and he glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes, the hurt on her face almost too much to bear. With Noah in his arms, he got up from the couch and headed down the hallway towards the bedroom.

Blinking back the tears that prickled at the corners of her eyes, Olivia reached for her her wine glass before taking a generous sip. Swallowing the smooth liquid, she let out a shaky breath and pressed the cool glass against her flushed cheek.

Hearing the door to her son's bedroom click shut, Olivia saw Ed reappear in the living room seconds later. Placing her wine glass on the coffee table, she wrapped her arms around herself defensively despite the heat hanging in the room.

Standing at the end of the couch, Ed folded his arms across his chest causing his white t shirt to stretch taut across his muscular upper body. "I think we should talk about what happened between us." He offered in a gruff voice, his hand scrubbing down his face. Sitting on the very opposite end of the couch, he took a deep breath and he rubbed his hands against the material of his athletic shorts. "I can't tell you the entire story, you pretty much shut me out towards the end there but I can tell you my side."

She felt a tug at her heart at his statement and it was then that she knew this would be a difficult conversation. "So it was my fault." she assumed, her sorrowful eyes flickering up to his. "I thought as much."

"No", he answered, his voice soft as he looked down at his hands clasped in his lap. "Not necessarily."

As carefully as her bruised ribs would allow, she pulled her knees close to her body in a soothing gesture. "Tell me." She coaxed.

Taking a deep breath, he did his best to gather his thoughts. "It was a couple weeks after that night that we talked about the... baby." He began, he last word practically a strangled whisper before he cleared his throat. "You were working a case involving a retired cop that lost it and started stalking a vic from his past. Coincidentally this was around the same time I considered retiring myself." He looked over at her to gauge her reaction. Her full lips were pursed just the slightest bit and her eyebrows were pulled together more in concentration than in confusion. "I told you I wanted to retire... with you."

Slowly nodding, she took a moment to comprehend what he was saying as her fingers gently played against her chin. "And I assumed you wanted me to retire too." She concluded and his eyes shot to her with surprise. "I don't remember", she clarified. "I just know myself."

His face fell in the slightest as he nodded. "Before I knew it, you had retreated into yourself. You were distant, ignoring my phone calls, barely talking when we did see each other."

Feeling tears prickle at the corner of her eyes, she pushed back the hair that had fallen in her face. "I'm so sorry." She sniffled and he looked up to see her eyes glistening.

Moving closer to her on the couch, he gently grabbed her legs and placed them across his lap almost as if out of habit. When her eyes met his, he shook his head in the slightest. "I should have never put that kind of pressure on you." He said, his rough palm pressing against the smooth skin above her knee. "Walking out of your apartment that night was the worst decision I've ever made, I've kicked myself for it every morning that I woke up without you beside me."

"I push people away, I have my whole life but I never thought I would do it to you." She said as he hung his head. Reaching out, she ran her hand down the back of his head, the back of her knuckles smoothing down his short silver hair. He lifted his head and looked at her, his rugged cheek resting in her hand. "Did you love me?" She asked and he nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "And I love you. I'm sorry I let something so trivial come between us." Her use of the present tense was not lost on him.

With a small nod he looked down where her legs were stretched out in front of him, his large hand absentmindedly running along the soft skin of her shin. Normally in these weather conditions, she would detest any skin to skin contact but she was reveling in this. Stretching her head back, she took a deep breath as the feeling of Ed's hands working the muscles of her calves put her at ease.

Despite his best efforts, Ed's eyes wandered up her body. Mesmerized by the way her cleavage heaved when she drew in a deep breath, how her slender neck stretched from her sleek collarbone to her sharp jaw, a thin sheen of sweat glistening in the low light. When she lifted her head back up and looked at him, he made no move to avert his eyes. The way he unabashedly stared at her made her eyes flicker with a whirlwind of different emotions. "What?" He asked softly, the corner of his lips lifting as his thumb ran over the dip behind her knee.

He was close, undeniably so. The outside of his thigh pressed against the back of hers, right under the swell of her backside. Her arm stretched across the back of the couch, her hand resting against his solid shoulder while the other one rubbed against her sternum. The words had been on the tip of her tongue for several seconds before she gathered the courage to actually speak. "I didn't think it was possible to miss someone who was sitting right in front of me."

A breath escaped his nostrils as his eyes fell shut, his head falling to the side to nuzzle her hand that was at his shoulder. Moving her hand to cup his stubbled cheek, he turned his head to press his open lips against the pulse point at her wrist causing a hum to reverberate through her chest. Her hand had found the back of his head, pulling him closer and before he knew it he was on his knees between her legs.

Mere inches away from each other, their breaths mingled between them as his eyes searched the details for her face up close after all this time. "Liv", he breathed, his eyes flickering to hers.

"It's okay", she muttered, the tips of her fingers playing against the chords of his strong neck. Inching closer, his eyes moved down to her parted lips and back up again before they fell closed as his lips closed around hers.

One of her hand gripped the material of his t-shirt at the back of his neck while the other scraped along his cropped hair, her mouth surrendering to his soft lips. His hands found the back of her knees and yanked them to wrap around his waist.

With her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, she clung to him as he moved to lay her down flat on the couch. Pulling back, he looked down at her and pushed the hair back from her forehead while trying to catch his panting breath. "Is this okay?" he asked lowly, the back of his knuckles brushing along the left side of her ribcage. His feather light touch causing a chill to run through her entire body.

Nodding, she slipped her hand under the hem of his shirt to press against his firm stomach causing his eyes to fall shut at the contact. "Hey", she called softly, causing his eyes to meet hers again as she brought two fingers up to her full lips. "Right here."

Leaning forward, his lips caught hers as her hands slipped under his shirt and pushed it up his torso. Breaking their kiss briefly, he reached behind his neck to pull the fabric from his body before his lips found his way back to hers.

One of his hands was propped up on the couch while the other gripped the flesh of her supple thigh, his mouth slanting over hers. The heat of his tongue met hers, the contact making her moan into his mouth as his hips from pressed into hers.

With several searing kisses to her plump lips, he pulled back and stared down at her. Her heavy lidded eyes stared up at him and she sunk her teeth into her kiss bruised lip. His thumb traced the dip between her chin and her bottom lip before his fingertips trailed down the chords of her neck to the skin on her flushed chest.

His pink tongue peaked out to wet his lips as he drank her in, his eyes darting between her face and her chest. Before any coherent thoughts entered his mind, his parted lips were pressed against her collarbone. A hiss escaped her teeth as his searing tongue made contact with her damp skin, the taste of her sweet sweat invading his mouth.

Throwing her head back into the cushion of the couch, Olivia gripped the back of his neck and held him against her as his tongue worked wonders on her fevered skin. His hands slipped under the hem of her fitted tank top, careful to not hurt her injured side as he pushed the material up her torso. She lifted her arms above her head, helping his remove the garment completely.

As the shirt hit the floor, Ed stopped in his tracks as he saw the yellowish bruising along the left side of her abdomen. "Oh, Liv", he whispered as he leaned down to brush his lips along the blotches, careful no to apply to much pressure. She ran her hand through his cropped hair causing her to look up at he face from underneath those eyelashes.

Her soulful eyes called to him and he crawled back up her body until he was face to face with her. Reaching her hand up to his face, she chuckled as she wiped away some sweat that had formed on his brow. He gave her a smile and pecked her lips before looking down between her body. "I don't want to hurt you." He murmured uncertainly, making sure to keep his weight propped on his elbows.

"You're fine", she smiled at him, the back of her knuckles brushing against his stubbled cheek. "As weird as it sounds, solid pressure actually feels good. Stops my chest expanding too rapidly when I breathe." His forehead wrinkled at her explanation. Any other day he would be able to process the information but at this moment all he could focus on was her soft body underneath his. Waving her hand in dismissal, her legs wrapped around his waist and squeezed his muscular midsection. "I want to feel you on top of me."

Nodding, he framed her head with his forearms as he relaxed and let his weight fall against her. His fingers tangled into her unruly hair as his nose grazed hers. "I have missed you, Olivia Benson." He breathed against her, his lips brushing hers as he spoke. A shiver ran through her body, she wasn't sure if it was from the raspiness of his voice or the words he spoke.

Wrapping her arms around his midsection, her dainty hands roamed the expanse of his strong back as his lips whispered across the features of her face. "Tuck", she exhaled, her voice barely audible. Pulling back, concern shone bright on his face as he saw tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. Suddenly overcome with all the emotion that had been building since she woke up in the hospital bed, a small sob escaped her lips as her hands searched to find purchase against his back.

"Shhh", he soothed, bending his head down and pressing his tender lips against her wet eyelids.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to compose herself as she looked up at him. She had forgotten how brightly his blue eyes shone in the dim light, she always got lost in them during moments like these.

Pressing her hand against the side of his neck, she stroked his rugged cheek with her thumb. "I don't know how I ever thought I could live without you."

A rush of emotions washed over him and the urge to feel her lips against his took over. Burying one of his hands in her hair, he captured her lips between his as he hoisted her leg higher around his hip. As midnight approached, the stifling air started to cool down outside while the heat was only beginning to ignite between the two soul inside the small apartment.

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 **There it is! I hope you like it! Please please please review! Reviews make me thrive!**


	6. Chapter 6

**HELLOOOOO! This is probably the quickest update I have ever done and will ever do but that is probably because a good 80% of this chapter is PURE SMUT. You. Are. Welcome. ENJOYYYYYY!**

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The dark room was still and quiet save for the warm breeze blowing through the open window, making the curtain dance. Olivia was fast asleep on her back on the plush bed, a thin sheet pooled around her waist. A soft sigh escaped her parted lips as her eyes began to move behind her closed eyelids, the warm feeling between her legs almost too hard to ignore.

It took her eyes a minute to adjust to the dark room as her tired mind tried to comprehend her surroundings. A hot, wet sensation shot through her most sensitive bundle of nerves and her head jolted up to find a figure moving underneath the sheet.

Pushing the sheet back, she saw Ed's blue eyes shining at her through the dark as his lips pressed against the highest point of her inner thigh. Reaching her hand down, she ran it over his cropped hair as his bright white teeth scraped along the supple skin in front of his face. He kept his eyes trained on hers as he slowly ran his pink tongue along the length of her sex.

"Ed", she moaned loudly, throwing her head back against the pillow. Her breath came in heavy pants as her hips bucked against his face on their own volition.

Bracing his hands against her lower stomach, Ed raised his head to look at her with the sheet pooled at the back of his neck. "Shhh", he whispered, his warm breath blowing against her stomach causing goosebumps to appear. "Don't wake up Noah."

Running a hand through her hair, she briefly looked up at him and nodded before dropping her head back to the pillow. Keeping his hands planted on her concave stomach, Ed applied light pressure to keep her still as his mouth attacked her most sensitive flesh.

Despite her hardest efforts, the noises that left her mouth echoed off the walls as her hands grabbed at his which were steady against her abdomen. She guided his hands to cover her heaving breasts, her pebbled nipples hard against his palms. He looked up, his eyes watching her from his position between her legs.

In his eyes, Olivia Benson was always the most beautiful woman in any room. Whether she was taking charge in the squad room, glammed up at some NYPD gala or being a dotting mother at one of Noah's school functions, she shone brighter than anyone else. But here, like this, in the throes of passion is when she enchanted him the most.

Rolling her stiff nipples between his thumb and forefinger, he heard a yelp escape her before his hands traveled back down her body. Wrapping his strong hands around her upper thighs, Ed secured them against his broad shoulders as he began to feel her tremble against his lapping mouth. She felt the familiar heat rising in her belly as his tongue alternated between darting in and out of her entrance and flicking against her bundle of nerves.

Bracing her hands against the frame of the headboard, Olivia pressed her hips up against his face as his lips continued their assault. "Jesus, Tuck", she groaned as he buried his face against her, his nose pressing against her clit as his tongue plundered her opening.

Bright lights exploded behind her closed eyelids as her orgasm washed over her. Tremors took over her entire body as she felt his hands tighten around her upper thighs. Her shaking hands found his head as he pulled away from her live nerves.

Looking up her body into her heavy lidded eyes, Ed gave her a lopsided smirk as he blew a stream of air along her exposed flesh. Her whole body convulsed as goosebumps spread across her olive skin.

Crawling up her body, he placed opened mouth kisses along her taut torso and heaving chest before he was eye level with her. His lips glistened in the low light from the open window as he smiled down at her. "I forgot how good you tasted." He rasped, his tongue peaking out to lick his bottom lip.

Bringing a hand to his cheek, she swiped her thumb along the dip under his mouth. He leaned forward and captured her lips as he buried his hand in her hair. She moaned against his mouth as the taste of herself invaded her tastebuds, her legs automatically wrapping around his slender hips.

Planting his forearms on either side of her head, he pushed back the hair from her forehead as he looked down at her. His eyes roamed the expanse of her face, trying to soak in as much of her as he could in the low lighting. The flush that colored her cheeks, her plump lips parting as she took a deep breath, the way her lust ladden eyes stared up at him.

"What?" She asked, starting to feel self conscious under his gaze.

Rubbing a strand of her hair between his thumb and forefinger, he have a slight shake of his head as he continued to study her. "You're beautiful." He rasped. She gave him a small smile before looking away shyly. "Liv", he breathed, getting her attention. "Last night, you said that you never thought you would push me away like you had with other people. Why was I any different?"

Closing her eyes, Olivia took a deep breath while gathering her thoughts before finding his concerned blue eyes. "I never thought that I would feel anything but dread when I saw you walk into my squad room but over time I found your presence... calming." She noticed the lines on his forehead relax as she absentmindedly traced patterns into the skin of his reddened chest. "One day, I realized that you were always there behind me, supporting me. An unexpected but welcome constant. You kept your distance but pushed me when I needed it, like the lieutenant's exam. No one had ever been that for me."

Blinking away the tears that pooled in her eyes, she focused on the invisibles lines she was making on his skin. "You were a slow burn. Like the feeling you get when someone kisses you at the base of your neck." She explained as she demonstrated, placing her hand on the back of his head and pressing her open mouth to the hollow of his throat. His eyes fell closed at the feeling of her pillowy lips against his skin, his hand finding its way into her hair to hold her against him. "The way the heat rises up your spine and spreads throughout your chest." She whispered against his skin and he nodded in understanding.

Her lips ghosted up his neck to his ear, her warm breath causing him to shiver against her. "I realized I could not live without that feeling." She murmured against the shell of his ear. "I still don't think I can."

The slow burn she spoke of quickly ignited between them as his lips quickly found hers. Swiftly tilting her hips back until his arousal was aligned with her opening, she moaned into his mouth as he pushed forward into her. He grabbed hold of her leg by the back of her knee and hoisted it high around his hip before wrapping both his arms around her frame so his chest was flush against hers.

"Fuck, Liv, you're..." He muttered against her lips with a subtle shake of his head, suddenly at a lose for words.

After pressing a kiss to his his parted lips, she looked up and the emotion she saw in his eyes was enough to take her breath away. "Everything that's ever been missing." She finished his sentence, mirroring his thoughts with her own sentiment.

His eyebrow twitched in the slightest as his blue eyes searched her face in awe, wondering how he survived the last two years without her by his side. "Yeah", he breathed with a nod.

Olivia's lips lifted into a small smile as she brought her fingertips to brush over his lips. He pressed a kiss to the pads of her fingers before moving down to press his face against hers.

The feeling of his hips moving against hers stoked the growing fire in her belly as his lips ghosted over the planes of her face. She let out a breathy moan, the warm air from her lungs engulfing his upper chest as her hands gripped the flexing muscles of his back.

Skin against skin, lips against lips, the sound of their bodies was drowned out by their growing moans before filtering out through the open window into the night air.

* * *

Staring blankly ahead, Olivia's fingertips grazed over her full lips as she replayed the previous night's events in her head. The sizzle of the griddle and the smell of pancakes filled her senses and she grabbed the nearby spatula to flip them. She busied herself by continuing to cut the strawberries that lay out on the cutting board in front of her before she felt two strong hands circle her waist.

"Smells good." Ed whispered, his nose running along the column of her neck. Turning in his arms, she offered him a small piece of strawberry as a small smile played on her lips. He leaned his head forward and took the piece of fruit in his mouth, his warm lips lingering around her two fingers. "Mmm, delicious." he murmured, leaning forward to catch her lips between him. "The strawberry isn't bad either."

Noticing the water droplets peppering his silver hair, Olivia grabbed the towel that was slung over his naked shoulder and began to dry his hair. He moved the material of her short cotton robe to the side and placed his lips against the skin of her collar bone causing her to let out a giggle.

Reaching behind her, he grabbed the spatula and removed the remaining pancakes from the griddle as his lips continued against her. She draped the towel around his neck and pulled back and looked down between them. "I'm glad you found an old pair of your pj pants."

He pulled back and snapped the band of the pants against his bare abdomen. "I'm glad you kept them."

The sound of the doorbell ringing echoed through the apartment. "Why don't you wake up Noah while I get that?" She suggested pointing at her apartment door He nodded, laying a kiss on her waiting lips.

Walking towards the door, she peeked through the peephole and suddenly the smile that hadn't left her face since the night before dropped from her face. She pulled her robe closer around her body as she opened the door. "Dodds", she greeted halfheartedly, folding her arms across her chest.

"Peace offering", Dodds extended, holding out a bouquet of sickeningly pink peonies. Trying her best to give him a smile, she accepted the flowers and moved into the apartment allowing him to enter. "Listen, I wanted to apologize for the whole mix up the other night." He offered, shoving his hands in the pockets of his dockers.

Taking one last look at the bouquet, she placed it on the counter before looking at him. "Don't worry about it." She replied listlessly. Against his better judgement, his harsh eyes wandered down her body and she was suddenly self conscious about the mid thigh length of her robe. When his eyes returned to her face, she nervously crossed her arms across her chest. "What brings you here?" She asked, awkwardly pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"A couple weeks back, you had agreed to accompany me to the NYPD Foundation gala and I was wondering if you were still up for it." He explained as he watched an uneasiness spread across her defined features. She looked down at her shifting bare feet in an attempt to avoid his gaze. Sensing her discomfort, he took a step towards her and she had do her best not to physically flinch. "Look, I have no expectations. We can simply go as friends. It's just that I had already sent back the invitation saying you would be my plus one."

Even though she knew she did not owe him anything, she felt a certain sense of guilt wash over her. She glanced back towards the hallway, knowing that just a few feet away Ed was there with her son. Pursing her lips, she gently tapped her bare foot against the hard wood floor as her mind raced. The sad hope that was all over Dodds' face made her guilt take over. "Alright", she hesitantly agreed before reiterating. "But just as friends."

His lips pulled back and exposed his teeth in what was meant to be a smile but something did not sit right with her. "I look forward to it, Livie." He smirked, a wave of nausea washing over her at his nickname.

A joyful giggle filled the apartment as Ed entered the living area with a squealing Noah thrown over his shoulder. The smile quickly dropped from his face as he saw the undesired guest in the apartment, his face hardening protectively. He placed Noah on the ground before kneeling down to get eye level with him, blocking his view of the third adult in the room. "Why don't you go make your bed and then we can eat breakfast?" Nodding enthusiastically, the young boy took off towards the bedroom as Ed stood up and turning towards Olivia and Dodds.

Walking over to her, he placed a guarding hand on her shoulder as he looked at the chief. "Is there a problem here?" He asked and she noticed the muscles of his bare chest flexed under his pale Irish skin. She couldn't tell if he did it on purpose to exude his masculinity or if it was involuntary due to the tension forming in his body.

Placing a comforting hand against his firm stomach, she tried his best to give him a reassuring smile. "No, Chief Dodds was just leaving." She explained, before looking to the other man.

Giving them both a small nod, he turned and headed towards the foyer. The door clicked shut and Ed turned towards her, placing both of his hands on her shoulders. "You okay?" he asked, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Pressing her lips together, she nodded and gave him a small smile before he dropped a warm kiss on her forehead. He walked towards the counter, taking a petal of the pink flower between his fingers. "What was that all about?" He questioned softly, leaning back against the counter and folding his muscular arms across his chest.

Sighing, she ran her hand through her dark hair as her anxious eyes met his.

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 **A little on the short side but an update nonetheless! Let me know what you think PLEASE!**


	7. Chapter 7

**IMMMMM BACKKKK and I'm so so sorry for the delay *hides behind my laptop screen* Life and writer's block had gotten in the way it always as it does but here it is, I hope you like it.**

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"Wow! Aaron Judge! He's my favorite!" Noah exclaimed excitedly as he pulled the pinstriped jersey out of the shopping bag.

Olivia couldn't help the smile that beamed from her face as she watched Ed smile proudly at the joy his gift brought the little boy. "I know, your mom told me." He chuckled as he bent down to be eye level with the boy, glancing up at Olivia who was beaming down at them. Relaxed fit jeans hung perfectly from his hips, a gray yankees shirt stretched across his tight chest and his eyes shone brightly up at her from under the brim of his navy blue baseball cap.

Throwing his arms around Ed's neck, Noah clung to the older man with the jersey trapped between them. "I'm gonna go put it on now!" He declared as he pulled away before darting to his bedroom.

The two of them watched him disappear down the hallway, Ed rising from his crouched position as Olivia secured her earrings on each side. "You just made that boy's entire month." She smiled as she approached him, his eyes devouring her in the fitted, deep fuchsia dress.

Shrugging, he wrapped his hands around her slender waist as he pulled her body against his. "Kid can't go to his first Yankees game without authentic pinstripes."

"I can't thank you enough for taking him tonight." She whispered, her hands wrapping around his neck.

With one hand still on her waist, the other came up to grip the brim of his hat to turn it backwards so it no longer obstructed the space between them. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers as she played with the short hair at the nape of his neck. "Cole has season tickets." He explained, licking his lips as his eyes searched her face. "It's really not that big of a deal."

Her brown eyes sparkled as she looked at this incredibly selfless man in front of her. "It is a big deal, to him." She said, her eyes shifting in the direction of Noah's bedroom as her lips closed around his. "And to me." She whispered against his lips as she pressed her body against his.

Humming against her mouth, he pulled away and help her out in front of him to drink her in. "You look amazing, Liv", he smiked, noting the way her hair was swept along one of her shoulders and how her subtle make up lit up her face before his eyes shifted downward. "That dress...", he breathed with a slight shake of his head.

Ed's adoring eyes shifted and suddenly became distant as he looked away. "Hey", she whispered, bringing her hand to his cheek. "This is just something I have to do. I'm yours, okay?" She said, her warm brown eyes boring into his as her thumb ran along his thin lower lip. His eyes closed and he slowly nodded his head before pulling her close to bury his face in her neck.

The comfort of their embrace surrounded them and they stood their for several minutes, his breath puffing against the skin of her neck as her hand smoothed against the back of his head. She pulled back and looked him, her palms against his rugged cheeks. "It doesn't matter who sees me in this dress tonight, you will be the one taking it off of me."

The corners of his thin lips pulled up at her words, she always knew the right thing to say. He brushed the back of his knuckles along the bare column of her neck as his face neared hers. Just as his lips were about to meet hers there was a knock at the door.

Releasing a heavy sigh, his forehead fell against hers and she let out a chuckle at his frustration as her hand came up to pat his firm chest. As she turned to answer the door Noah came running out of his room and up to Ed. "Look! I found my key, it was in Mama's room." The boy exclaimed, holding it up for him to see.

Kneeling down, Ed inspected the key and his face hardened as he saw the cartoon dog etched into the metal. His mind was working so fast that he didn't even realize Olivia had been calling his name. "Tuck", she sing-songed and he straightened and raised his eyebrows at her in acknowledgment.

The sight of Chief Dodds standing so close to her in the entryway made his entire body stiffen as he felt Noah's small hands grip the fabric of his jeans from where he stood behind him.."I shouldn't be more than a couple of hours." She explained, tucking her clutch under her arm as she approached him. She placed a gentle hand on his chest as she reached up and placed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Ed's steely eyes stared down Dodds as he brought a hand up to her lower back as she pressed herself against him, the tips of his fingers resting against the swell of her backside. "I'll call you when I'm on my way home."

As she pulled back, Olivia saw the grim expression on his face but before she could say anything she noticed Noah cowering behind Ed's legs. She crouched down as much as her dress would allow. "Are you okay, Noah?" she asked, her eyebrows knitting together in worry. He nodded unconvincingly as his eyes shifted between her and the doorway. "Are you sure?" She implored, running her hand over his dark hair,

Instead of replying Noah just threw his arms around her neck and hugged her tightly. "I don't want you to go." He whispered into her neck.

"I'll be back soon", She reassured, rubbing her hand along his little back before pulling back and looking at him. "And you're gonna have so much fun with Tucker, okay?" Noah nodded despite the tears that were pooling at the corner of his eyes. "Oh, it'll be okay, sweet boy." She soothed, peppering his face with kisses.

Standing up, she faced Ed as Dodds watched them from across the living room. "His separation anxiety acts up sometimes." She spoke lowly under her breath.

Ed placed his hands on her shoulders and maneuvered so his back was facing the other man, his face serious and his voice low. "We need to talk..."

"Lieutenant", Dodds interrupted from his place in the entryway. "We have to get going."

Nodding, she slipped past Ed and turned back to him as she made sure she had everything in her clutch. "I'm sorry, Tuck. We'll talk when I get home, okay?" She said as she blew a kiss to Noah.

Before Ed knew it, she slipped out the door while Dodds lingered in the doorway. "See ya, Tuck." He spat as his lips pulled back to bare his teeth in a devilish grin. The words lingered in the air as he turned and left, the sound of the door slamming echoing through the apartment.

White hot anger surged his body and he could feel it rising against the back of his neck as he stared at the closed door. For a moment, he thought the animosity was vibrating from his body until he realized two little hands were gripping his pant leg and those trembling hands belonged to Noah.

Kneeling down in front of the young boy, Ed's heart ached as he saw the endless tears streaming down his cheeks. "No, what is it?' He asked softly, placing his hands on his small shoulders. The boy could barely catch his breath at the rate the sobs were leaving his lips. He pulled him into a warm hug and whispered soothingly in his hair.

When Ed could feel Noah's sobs subside, he pulled away and placed his large hands on each of his cheeks. Pressing his trembling lips together, Noah took a steadying breath through his nose before speaking. "The monster...", he squeaked. "I don't want him to hurt my mommy again."

As soon as the words dissipated into the air, Ed's blood ran cold. Everything was falling into place. Noah was shifting in front of him and that when Ed saw it, the wetness marking the inseam of the boy's jeans. Something had frightened him so much that he wet himself and Ed had a feeling he knew exactly what. "Who's the monster, bud? Tell me." He pleaded lowly.

Slowly, he lifted his arm and pointed a small finger at the closed door to the apartment. "The man that took mommy, he's the one that hurt her. She was bleeding , I called for help."

"Noah, are you sure?" He implored and Noah nodded undoubtedly with wide eyes. Without another word, Ed scooped him up and carried him down the hallway.

Bursting into the child's room, Ed placed him down on the floor before rummaging through the dresser for a clean pair of pants. Finding them, he kneeled down in front of him and began helping Noah change. "Tuck", he squeaked as Ed pulled the sweatpants up his legs. He looked at the boy and the way his bottom lip wouldn't stop quivering. "Are you gonna save mommy from the monster?"

Placing his hands on either side of his neck, Ed looked directly into his eyes. "I will not let anything happen to your mom, I promise." He vowed, pulling him close and pressing his lips to his forehead. When the boy nodded, Ed picked him up, grabbed his keys and dashed out of the apartment.

* * *

A loud and urgent knocking came from the front door and Amanda rushed to answer as fast as her rounded figure would allow. Opening the door, she saw Ed standing there with Noah clinging to his side. "I need you to take Noah." Ed stated, his eyes fierce and urgent despite his calm manner.

"Of course", she said as she ushered the boy inside the apartment. "Why don't you go and turn on the tv. Sonny is just getting Jesse into her pj's, she should be out soon." Noah nodded and headed into the living room. "What's going on?" She asked lowly, once Noah was out of ear shot.

"When Liv got hurt, it wasn't an accident." Ed explained as he ran a hand down his weary face. "Noah saw it all, he said it was Dodds. Liv is with him now. I gotta go."

Worry washed over her face and she reached out and grabbed his arm. "Wait, you shouldn't go alone."

Just as the words left her mouth, Sonny appeared from the hallway. His eyebrows pulled together in question as he placed Jesse down with Noah and walked to the pair by the door. "Is everything okay?" He asked, planting his hands on his hips.

"It was Dodds", Amanda informed, placing a hand on his bicep. "I knew it wasn't an accident. I've got the kids, go with Ed."

Without hesitation, Sonny nodded and slipped on his shoes quickly. With a quick kiss on her cheek, he was out the door and hot on Ed's heels at they mad their way down the hallway.

* * *

Olivia's heels clicked against the cement of the side walk as she and Chief Dodd's made their way down the block towards the ballroom. She found herself subconsciously walking ahead of him, feeling somewhat uneasy with him so close. That didn't stop him from trying to match her pace.

When he reached her side, he wasted no time in placing his hand on her lower back as they walked. "Chief", she warned amicably, giving him a forced smile.

"C'mon, you can call me Will. You have plenty of times before." He flirted, his hand migrating south as he pulled her against him.

Pressing her hands against his chest, she pushed him away. "I said enough! I told you I'm here as a colleague, nothing more." She said sternly.

His face hardened and something flashed in his eyes that made her blood run cold. He looked down the street at all their oblivious colleagues entering the building, sucking his teeth before grabbing her and pulling her down the dark alleyway next to them. His rough hands gripped her upper arms as he shoved her back against the hard brick wall.

The shock that flashed in her eyes was quickly replaced with outrage. Just as she opened her mouth, he took the heel of his palm and shoved it into the wounded side of her rib cage causing her to gasp out in agony. Dodds' sharp teeth dug into his bottom lip in an evil smile as he watched her buckle against the wall in sheer white hot pain.

"You may not remember what happened that night, but I promise you will remember this." He hissed, his hot breath puffing against her ashen face as her vision blurred with anguish.

* * *

 _Taking a deep breath, Olivia reached up and wiped the fog from the bathroom mirror as she adjusted the towel around her damp body. She took a minute to look at herself in the mirror. Her hair hung wet against her shoulder, her lips were set in a hard line and her eyes, they just looked... tired. Opening up the medicine cabinet, she reached up and grabbed her toothpaste and when she closed it, what she saw made her jump._

 _There in the mirror, she saw the reflection of Chief William Dodds and her stomach dropped. Turning around and taking a step back, she clutched the towel to her chest as his eyes looked her up in down. "Will, what are you doing here? I thought you left."_

 _"You can't get rid of me that easily." He replied as he took a step forward, his eyes trained on her face._

 _Something about his voice made her stomach drop and she felt the hairs stand at the back of her neck. "You need to go. I believe I made myself clear." She stated firmly, pointing towards the door._

 _"I don't think you were clear at all." He countered, standing his ground._

 _She sighed and secured the towel tighter around herself, feeling vulnerable under his gaze. "I told you that we are done. Whatever we were."_

 _Taking another step towards her, he cornered her against the wall as his hardened eyes stared her down. "It's Tucker isn't it?" He questioned, his voice low and harsh. "You're still hung up on that mick."_

 _Rage flared in her eyes and before she could open her mouth to react, he grabbed her hair and yank her head back. His other hand found her throat and she gasped for air as she clawed at his forearm, the towel falling to the floor. "You forget that I've felt what it feels like to be inside you and when I'm done with you you won't even remember that bastard's name." He spat, his nose dragging along her cheekbone as she struggled for breath._

 _Thrusting his leg up, he kneed her hard in her left side and she choked out as she struggling to take in a breath. He heard a noise out in the apartment and when he whipped around he saw a small figure scurrying away. "Fuck", he roared, letting her go completely._

 _The dizziness invading her mind didn't allow her enough time to catch herself and her face smashed into the corner of the vanity and she was still. He looked down to see the dark crimson of her blood staining the stark white tiles. Grabbing the towel from around her body before the blood tainted it, he hung it up on the rack and maneuvered the lower half of her body so it looked like she was coming out of the tub._

 _Quickly exiting the bathroom, he made his way towards the entryway way when he noticed Noah's backpack by the front door. Ripping open the bag, he rummaged through it until he found what he was looking for. He looked down at the key in his palm with a devilish grin on his face before shoving it in his pocket and slipping through the door._

* * *

Briskly approaching the entrance to the hall, Ed walked up to the group of NYPD officials that lingered around the lobby with Carisi ot on his heels. "Hey, fellas. Have you seen Chief Dodds come through here yet?"

Receiving a chorus of "no's" and several shakes of the head in response, Ed's intent suddenly became tunnel vision as he moved down the block. Sonny watched Ed move about the block, his eyes darting between everyone that passed him in search of Olivia. A clatter echoed from the alley just down the block and Ed turned to face Sonny, a look of panic marring his handsome features.

Another loud bang sounded from alley and the two men sprang into action, sprinting towards the narrow passage. What Ed saw there in the dim lighting ripped his heart out. Dodds had Olivia pinned against the brick wall, one of his hands pressed into her side, the other forearm pressed to her throat as his knee forced her legs open.

"Get the hell off of her!" Ed shouted, lunging forward. The sudden outburst caused Dodds to whip around, his forearm slipping from her throat. Olivia gasped for breath as her eyes came into focus, seeing Ed and Sonny rushing towards them. She was suddenly free from his offending hands as Sonny roughly pulled him off of her and she felt Ed's strong arms around her before she could hit the ground.

Olivia's weakened hands clung to him as he held her against him. "Ed", she croaked, barely audible due to her coarse throat.

"Shhh, it's okay. I've got you." He murmured into her hair as he held her up.

Ed's eyes hardened as he watched Sonny pressed Dodds against the brick wall, cuffing his hands behind his back. "William Dodds, you're under arrest for assaulting a police officer."

"Assault?" He scoffed over his shoulder. "She wanted it."

The words sparked a fire inside him and in seconds Ed had him pressed up against the wall as Sonny moved to pull Olivia into his side. "She never wanted you, you sadistic bastard." He spat lowly, practically nose to nose with him as he white knuckled the lapels of his suit jacket. "Even when you were inside of her she was thinking of me. And she sure as hell didn't want you to bash her head into the counter, you sick son of a bitch."

When Olivia could hold herself up, Sonny reached the two men and gently pulled Ed away. "Go to Liv, I've got him." Looking back at her with her hands at her reddening throat and tears in her eyes, he briefly closed his eyes and nodded.

As Ed released his grip on him, Sonny stepped in and turned him around to press his front against the rough brick. With one hand holding the handcuffs, he pulled out his cell phone and quickly dialed before bringing it to his ear. "This is SVU detective Dominic Carisi, badge number 0-1-8-8. We need a squad car in the area of 8-0 5th avenue. One in custody."

"Are you alright?" Ed rasped as he reached Olivia, his eyes narrowing as they surveyed her. Taking a steadying breath, she nodded as his hand grasped her chin and tilted her head to inspect her face. She hissed through clenched teeth and she gripped her side as a sharp pain ripped through her, leaning against him for support.

With his cell phone still held against his ear, Carisi noticed Ed holding Olivia up as she was practically doubled over in pain. "Also, getting a bus rolling for an adult female post assault eval."

Remembering what she said about pressure making her bruised ribs feel better, he maneuvered her back so it was against the wall and then pressed against her side. "Does this feel better?" He asked, pushing the hair back from her forehead. She nodded, her hands gripped his lower back and holding him against her as her eyebrows furrowed together.

"Ed", she whispered, getting his attention. His concerned eyes looked down into hers as his hand threaded his hand through her hair to cradle the back of her head. "Thank you", she breathed.

Nodding, he pressed his lips against her forehead before she leaned her face against his strong chest.

* * *

Settling into his side of the bed, Ed sighed heavily through his nose as he took in the sight of Olivia sleeping in front of him. Half of her face was buried in the pillow, her lips slightly pursed as her long eyelashes rested against the apples of her cheeks. His fingers itched to touch her but he knew that she needed her sleep more than anything.

"You're not going to sleep at all tonight, are you?" She croaked, her bloodshot eyes fluttering open.

Despite the solemnness his eyes held, the corner of his lips quirked up in a lopsided grin. "No", he rasped with a slight shake of his head. "How are you feeling?"

Her brow furrowed as she shifted slightly on the bed. "Headache is tolerable. Side is still tender." She explained.

Reaching for the hem of her oversized shirt, his hand stilled against the fabric as his eyes met hers. "Can I?" He asked, his voice almost as soft as his eyes. She nodded quietly and he carefully lifted up her shirt until it was bunched under her breasts. The sight of the deep purple blotch marring her skin causing a ping of guilt to tug at his heart.

Maneuvering down the bed, he stopped when he was eye level with her injured side. He glanced up at her and her brown eyes watched as he leaned forward, his lips whispering against the tender flesh. Her breath caught in her throat and she brought her hand to the back of his head as his warm breath caused a wave of goosebumps to break out across her skin.

"Ed", she breathed, the word dissipating into the air as soon as it left her lips. When he heard her whisper, he made his way back up the bed and laid on his side next to her.

A silence fell between them as they stared into each others eyes. He brought a hand up and pushed stray hair behind her ear causing her eyes to flutter shut. "I'm sorry." He whispered, his solemn eyes searching her face. Her eyes shot open to see his face set in a hard line. "I should've never let you leave with him, I had a feeling..."

Placing her hands on his cheeks, she brought his face to hers and pressed her forehead against his. She shook her head as her thumbs rubbed along his sharp cheekbones. "It wasn't you, it was me. You were trying to warn me and I was too stubborn to listen." She paused, pressing her lips together as she shook her head slightly. "I always thought I had good judgement. How could I subject Noah to someone like that?" As the words left her trembling lips, tears welled up in her eyes. "I'm a terrible mother."

"Liv", he said sternly but she interrupted him by shaking her head. Sighing, he pulled he against him and held her as she weeped into his chest until her tears subsided moments later. "Wait here", he murmured into her hair before crawling off the bed. She watched as he moved towards the door, his pajama pants hanging low on his hips as the pale skin of his torso shone in the moonlight.

Moments later, Ed reentered the bedroom with a sleeping Noah clinging to his chest. She watched as he laid him down in the center on the bed and crawled in himself so the by was between the two of them. Without even opening his eyes, Noah instinctually turned and nuzzled into Olivia's chest.

She looked up from her son to the man laying in front of her with tears in her eyes. "People make mistakes, Liv", Ed stated as he rubbed the boy's back. "Noah loves you and he will come out of this unscathed, I'm sure of it."

"Really?" She asked as their hands joined over the young boy between them. "I can't believe I ever thought he compared to you."

Bringing his hand to her cheek, he silenced her by pressing his thumb against her lips. "It doesn't matter", he stated with a shake of his head. "We're here now. Do you want to be with me?" He asked and she nodded, kissing the calloused pad of is thumb. "I love you, Olivia Margaret Benson. Noah does too. We can get through anything together, the three of us."

Careful not to disturb Noah, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. "I love you too, Tuck." She whispered against his mouth.

All three of them stayed like that the entire night, huddled together on the queen sized bed. As Olivia's eyelids grew heavy, the last thought she remembered passing through her brain before sleep took over.

 _This is where we belong._

* * *

 **THE END**

 **Sorry, once again, for the delay. I would really appreciate your feedback. Don't worry I have several plot bunnies floating around in my head so I will see you soon!**


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